Jay-Z’s Got 99 Problems, But Money Ain’t One…

Jay-Z (or Hova, depending on how you would like me to address him) is really bothering me right now. I’m feeling especially ranty. I get it; he’s released some fairly iconic tracks over the years (Hard Knock Life, Izzo, 99 Problems, Empire State of Mind etc.).

 BUT – I kind of feel like the law of diminishing returns has hit him really hard. With each album he releases, the ratio of (stinker / bloated mess) to (great track) is steadily increasing. It’s 2013 and he now seems to be operating at the (15:1) level. Hell, that’s the success rate enjoyed by Train and Smash Mouth. Remember them?

 I just can’t get over how much people idolize this guy. Everyone bangs on about how he’s the ‘best ever’ (really??). I don’t get it. Maybe someone just needs to sit down with me and explain how Hova (whose albums over the past decade have been average, at best), has everybody so freaking enamoured with him.

 Oh, then there was the ‘look at me, everybody, I’m retiring – you better come and see me at my farewell shows and buy some sweet overpriced merchandise’. Oh wait, he didn’t REALLY retire. In truth, he wasn’t even retired for 2 years before he ‘launched’ his ‘comeback’ album and tour upon his faithful masses. TWO YEARS? Umm, that’s the USUAL gap between albums for most artists. Well played, Hova.

 His upcoming album is called ‘Magna Carta Holy Grail’. Shit, the title itself is a self-indulgent bloated mess – imagine what the album is going to be??! Not only that, but he’s graciously giving it away for FREE to the first 1 million people who purchase the new Samsung 4 (note: Samsung has graciously paid Hova Jay-Z for those albums). In my opinion, he’s now ‘subjecting’ people to his albums. He is ‘stock’ phone music – selling out to the man. According to Hova, the album is about ‘this duality of how do you navigate through this whole thing, through success, through failures, through all this and remain yourself’. Sound like rubbish to you? Yep! This is the man who sold his ‘artistic piece’ to Samsung and is married to the pop icon who sold her soul to Pepsi for $GAZILLIONS

 I dunno, maybe I’m just a hopeless cynic. I just think there are far greater musicians out there who don’t get a slither of the attention poured onto Hova.

 Hova HAS remained himself, though. I’ll give him that.

 He’s got 99 problems, but money ain’t one.

 Sir Rantsalot

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