Beliebers – Surely it’s time to find a new messiah?!

Australian Beliebers: HOW can you still beliebe in your messiah when it’s clear that he has deserted you??

During a deposition hearing in the US this week (your messiah has been very naughty) Bieber asked his entourage if he’d ever been to Australia. The poor soul honestly couldn’t remember.

Well, let me break this down for you. Bieber was in Australia for approximately 2 weeks during November-December 2013 in which he played 8 (EIGHT) shows at very large arenas. Mind you, I’ve read that a few geniuses are losing interest in ‘the petulant one’ and not all of those shows were sold out. Still, we’re talking THOUSANDS of shows at $100+ each.

Humour me.

Let’s say your messiah sold 80,000 tickets at an average of $100 each. That’s $8,000,000 (8 MILLION dollars!!). Recent data indicates that the median Australian wage is approximately $60,000.

SO – it would take the average HARD-WORKING Australian 133 years to earn that money. Even if this said hard-working Australian works from birth and lives to 133 years, they’d STILL lose out because inflation is a bitch and $8m won’t even buy you a concert ticket in 133 years.

…Yet, even after you shelled out 100 smackeroos (or more!!), your messiah still doesn’t remember you. Nope, he needed to check with his entourage (which you paid for, mind you). Clearly, the incident on Sunrise and Bieber’s Gold Coast graffiti turdlings didn’t jog his memory. I guess when you’re Bieber and you do a bunch of crummy shit around the world, this might be tough ask. I’ll give him that.

But still, your messiah has NO idea he came here and has no recollection of his ‘adoring Australian fans’. Hell, he probably referred to each of his Australian shows as ‘the best ever’, or followed the names of cities his entourage told him he was at with the words ‘you’re the best, I love you!’

Clearly not…

So, I don’t get it. Why do you persist with the love? Why don’t you get out in the street and burn all of his shit, delete his BS twitter account and (for the travel-inclined) graffiti HIS home. Hey, it won’t hurt his feelings – he doesn’t even know who you are.

I know you Beliebers love death threats – so feel free to send them through. I could do with a laugh. On that note, in case you don’t beliebe me – I’ve linked the video of Bieber’s classy deposition below.

Time to find a new messiah, guys…

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